Dear Workaholics: Are you staring down the fork in the road?
*A long exhale* I am standing here, looking down a fork in the road in front of me. I am seeing two different paths, two futures, two ways of living, two me’s, and two visions that don’t even seem to intersect. It’s one or the other. Uncertain, I am just standing here trying to figure out which way to go down.
I feel like if I take a step towards either paths that it will completely define who I am, who I will become, and what is truly important to me. I feel like I can’t waiver. I can’t go back if I make the decision, so I feel paralyzed. I don’t know what to do. What to do? What to do? Where is the me that knew so well of what I wanted? The me who had such a clear vision of what I wanted for my future. Now thinking about it… was it really mine or what was just expected of me?
I can feel myself wavering. I thought the path I was on was the right one. Isn’t this what I should be doing with my life? But looking closely now, this actually broke me down. It tore me open, and truly made really face myself. Who am I? What is truly important to me? What will truly grant me the happiness and fulfillment I so greatly desire? Who am I? Who will I become? Who do I want to be? Who? Who? Who? UGH! I feel like I’m standing at the edge looking down. This has to be another plateau in my life.
*Taking a deep breath* I see the obstacle. I see the two paths so clearly. Something has to change in order for me to move forward — and that change has to be within me. I can’t expect the situation to just change. Sure, I can stand here until it does, but how long would that wait be? Is it worth sinking more time into this, and hoping “by chance” things will be different? No, my time is valuable, and it is within my power to make the difference. Yes, that’s right. I can do this. *Walks down one of the paths*
Does any of this resonate with you? Do you have conversations like this with yourself or even with a close friend you can share this with? I’ve gone down this path several times before, even recently. And each time I just had to just chose.
So what are some mindset shifts you can make for yourself when you’re in the same situation? Start seeing that…
- You are actually the one choosing to be paralyzed by the decision, or more accurately, the indecision. Because the fear of making a decision was greater than your desire to move forward. You don’t want to be wrong. You don’t want to lose the good and comfort you’re experiencing right now. Your ego and pride is being oh-so-stubborn. You’re hanging on to what could be versus just seeing what is exactly in front of you. Instead of trying to take in all the external feedback, you forgot about the most important source — yourself. Only you know what’s best for YOU. Sure, it might take you a little while to figure it out, but it’s a decision only you can make. And you can choose to no longer give away your own freedom and free will to another person to decide for you. Ok, sure, you can be influenced, but you have to reclaim your own power and know that IT… IS… YOUR… CHOICE! So make a decision for yourself.
- You actually chose to believe in the perspective that you can’t go back. You can detour and readjust your route at any time when you make a “wrong” turn when driving, so why can’t it be possible here, too? By being aware of where it went wrong (or how it doesn’t feel good anymore) and making the decision to adjust, it’s allowing you to take a step. After taking that one step, you can decide what your next step is based on how the situation changes. It’s never too late. There’s never only one right answer. Why? Because after you made that decision, whatever happens after that is just feedback for you to decide your next move. The situation changed. You also changed. So what’s your next move? Believe that each step you take is merely taking you even closer to your goal.