Dear Workaholics: Are you staring down the fork in the road?

A corner in the 1840 Greek Revival mansion, surrounded by colorful and romantic gardens of the Oak Alley Plantation at Vacherie (near New Orleans). ©Kat Nieh

*A long exhale* I am standing here, looking down a fork in the road in front of me. I am seeing two different paths, two futures, two ways of living, two me’s, and two visions that don’t even seem to intersect. It’s one or the other. Uncertain, I am just standing here trying to figure out which way to go down.

I feel like if I take a step towards either paths that it will completely define who I am, who I will become, and what is truly important to me. I feel like I can’t waiver. I can’t go back if I make the decision, so I feel paralyzed. I don’t know what to do. What to do? What to do? Where is the me that knew so well of what I wanted? The me who had such a clear vision of what I wanted for my future. Now thinking about it… was it really mine or what was just expected of me?

I can feel myself wavering. I thought the path I was on was the right one. Isn’t this what I should be doing with my life? But looking closely now, this actually broke me down. It tore me open, and truly made really face myself. Who am I? What is truly important to me? What will truly grant me the happiness and fulfillment I so greatly desire? Who am I? Who will I become? Who do I want to be? Who? Who? Who? UGH! I feel like I’m standing at the edge looking down. This has to be another plateau in my life.

*Taking a deep breath* I see the obstacle. I see the two paths so clearly. Something has to change in order for me to move forward — and that change has to be within me. I can’t expect the situation to just change. Sure, I can stand here until it does, but how long would that wait be? Is it worth sinking more time into this, and hoping “by chance” things will be different? No, my time is valuable, and it is within my power to make the difference. Yes, that’s right. I can do this. *Walks down one of the paths*

Does any of this resonate with you? Do you have conversations like this with yourself or even with a close friend you can share this with? I’ve gone down this path several times before, even recently. And each time I just had to just chose.

So what are some mindset shifts you can make for yourself when you’re in the same situation? Start seeing that…

You got this, my dear workaholic. Go ahead. Chose a path.

The path in the gardens in front of the Oak Valley Plantation mansion. ©Kat Nieh



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Kat Nieh

DATING CLARITY COACH writing about conscious love+dating, living intentionally, and acting kindly.